A blog about nothing in particular, with puns, drawings, and charts because I'm too lazy to write a lot.
All originial content by @DuckSauceGeoff

Friday, August 31, 2012

How to Write a Country Song

Most country songs use the same common themes - some songs talk about Jesus, some are about AmERicuh, and some are just about trucks, dirt roads, and beer. Country singers manage to overlap a couple of these themes from time to time, but they've avoided saying too much in one song. If it's all in one song, why would anyone want to listen to anything else?

Enter Brad Paisley, who just decided to blow up the whole industry. This truly has it all - religion, emotion, nostalgia, redneck stuff, stars & bars... nothing was spared. In fact, it includes so much content, there isn't anything left to say at all. There's really no reason to make more songs - people won't want to listen to 5 or 6 songs to get their full country fix when they can just turn on this little masterpiece and hear it all at once. It's like the all-in-one shampoo/conditioner/hand soap/body lotion... throw away all your other bottles - everything you need is in one convenient place.

So, I guess what I'm saying is - it's probably time to stop making country music. It was a good run, but everything comes to an end at some point. Luckily, country artists are all highly-educated and well-rounded people. They'll find other jobs in no time.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Election 2012: Buy American

Rule #1: Be relatable. Don't worry - this rule isn't that important.