Why I Don't Like Watching Hockey (or Soccer) on TV

I have a hard time turning down tickets to any kind of sporting event. It doesn't matter what it is - give me a decent seat, hand me a hot dog, and I'll enjoy it. And though I'm not some kind of die-hard fan, hockey games are particularly fun. I just cannot watch hockey on TV. Here's why:

I watch and watch, but nobody scores. So, I change the channel for one minute to see what else is on, and without fail, I turn it back to find that someone scored while I was away. Every time I change the channel, look down at my iPad, or just lose focus, a goal is scored. It's as if I'm only allowed to see goals on replays.

Anything is better than watching soccer, though:

I never see soccer goals either, but that's mostly because no one seems to ever score, period. I guess it's a good nap-inducer. At least it's good for something.