Why I Don't Like Watching Hockey (or Soccer) on TV

I have a hard time turning down tickets to any kind of sporting event. It doesn't matter what it is - give me a decent seat, hand me a hot dog, and I'll enjoy it. And though I'm not some kind of die-hard fan, hockey games are particularly fun. I just cannot watch hockey on TV. Here's why:

I watch and watch, but nobody scores. So, I change the channel for one minute to see what else is on, and without fail, I turn it back to find that someone scored while I was away. Every time I change the channel, look down at my iPad, or just lose focus, a goal is scored. It's as if I'm only allowed to see goals on replays.

Anything is better than watching soccer, though:

I never see soccer goals either, but that's mostly because no one seems to ever score, period. I guess it's a good nap-inducer. At least it's good for something. 

G.O.A.T. Cheese: The Greatest Cheese of All Time

Goat cheese is one of the fastest-growing cheese varieties in the US. So, how does a company get in on the trend and set itself apart from all the other options that already exist? Better yet, how does a company capitalize on the industry's growth without having access to any goats?

Well, just forget about the goats. All you need are some smoke and mirrors, a decent pun, and a little help from some celebrity endorsers:

*G.O.A.T. stands for Greatest of All Time
*Not made from goat milk
*Just buy it anyway
*Stop reading the fine print

Commaflage: Camouflage for People Who Are Too Smart to Wear Camouflage

A lot of people would never wear cammo. Some of them might wear comma, though.

A Real "I Heart You" Valentine's Day Card

Just a little Valentine's Day card from Dumb & Dumber's Lloyd Christmas (Jim Carrey). I think it's one of the sweeter "I Heart You" pictures I've seen. I guess the real heart makes it feel more authentic.

Shia LaBeouf Stole the Paper Bag Look

Shia LaBeouf turned a lot of heads by wearing a paper bag at the premiere of his new movie. And while he certainly made a statement, let's not pretend this was anything original:

 Sorry, Shia, but Cleveland Browns fans have been doing this for years:

Looks like Shia is plagiarizing again. Sad.

Want to See a Brown Recluse?

I found a Brown Recluse in a crayon box. Weird, right? I guess it's a nice place to hang out.

Chick-fil-A's New Slogan is Crazy

Is this Chick-fil-A's new slogan?

Ok, it's obviously not. But it could be, right?

I loved all the "realistic slogans" on BuzzFeed and Huffington Post (which were based on this Reddit post) last year, so I just thought I'd try my hand at it. 

And here's one more, just because it was easy:

What Signs Say Isn't Always What They Mean

Signs don't always say what they mean to say